Monthly Archives: October 2014

Flash Fiction Challenge: My take on horror spam

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I see Flash Fiction challenges on blogs all the time and never give them a thought. Then yesterday I saw a Tweet from Chuck Wendig that caught my eye. I went to his blog and read the challenge in full. The assignment? Write a horror story framed as spam.

I was compelled and had to give it a try.  Two minutes into the project I immediately realized how hard it would be and almost gave up.  In the end I’m glad I didn’t.  It is, admittedly, low on horror but high on scam and creating the voice was fun as all get out.  And so here we go.  What do you think?

My dearest friend I write you with most urgent need. I assure you most that this is not much scam as my need is great. I am HRH Prince Dooya Fukguys last remaining heir of the Fukguys Royal Nigerian dynasty.

My need is great as I am currently prisoner to vampire clan in deepest Nigeria. It is a strange and terrible story that you must believe. I was captured by the lead vampire just weeks away and am desperate to escape. They sleep by day and torture me at night staring with their red blood eyes. They get hungry for human blood each day and snack on my neck. The pain my friend! Oh the pain! They keep me trapped in their dungeon with nothing but the internet to please me and feed me rib eye steaks against my most vegetarian pleas. I suffer from the daily torturous pain. It’s true my story is!

I have enlisted the services of a vampire hunter who will kill the horrid vampires but first he must receive his pay. I must send him $1,687.93 from only an American bank. Please my friend can you help me? I can send you today a cashiers check for $1,687.93 that you can use to fund your bank account and wire the money to my vampire hunter by the name of Mr. Phil McKrackin.

It will only take hours for Mr. McKrackin to release me from my captures. He is a reputable vampire hunter who will most quickly work. If you send me today your address where I can mail the cashiers check I will be released by October 31, 2014 when I can wire to your bank a reward of $15,000,000 from my royal Nigerian dynasty bank. I must have your assurances for help immediately my friend as I grow weaker from loss of blood each day.

Please my dearest friend I await your response.

HRH Prince Dooya Fukguys

Sent from my gmail account

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Awaken by Meg Cabot

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Good news! I finally finished the Abandon series by Meg Cabot. Even better news? The Awakenbooks get progressively better, so much so that I can honestly say I really enjoyed the final book, Awaken. The best part is I finally got the key story elements I love so much from Meg Cabot: spunky heroine and a good support network.

Awaken starts up right where Underworld leaves off. It is a few hours later and Pierce, having finally embodied the spunky Meg Caboty heroine we all love, is helping out on the docks of the underworld greeting the newly dead. She is already an asset to the place being polite and helpful (unlike John and his cronies) to the confused new arrivals. She even hands out glasses of water.

We quickly learn that Alex and Kayla have been brought to the underground as well and like Pierce we’re not sure how long they are going to stay or what they are going to do next. Unfortunately we don’t get to find out because a couple of fury possessed ships show up ready to reek havoc on the place. Hot hunky John, ruler of the underground and Pierce’s boyfriend, jumps aboard one of the boats to prevent the impending disaster and disappears along with the fates. Now it’s up to Pierce and her friends to bring the fates (and hopefully John) back to where they belong.

A lot happens in this book. Pierce desperately wants to find John but discovers that she is also tasked with having to restore balance to the underworld and save the world above from destruction by the evil furies! Along the way storylines that began in the previous books are resolved. We get the full scoop on Seth Rector, Alex’s dad and Pierce’s parents. We also get a really cool quote:

We do need storms sometimes, because they clear away the bracken so that the sun can shine on flowers that might never otherwise have had a chance to bloom.

I love this quote, which is the theme of the book, because it’s a good message about life as well. Sometimes you have to suffer through hard times in order to get to better times. This is kind of like how I felt at the beginning of this series actually. While I wasn’t a fan of the first book I stuck it out and was finally rewarded with this final one which was pretty delightful! I give it a good solid, classic Mrs. B!

Mrs. B rating classic