It’s me, Mrs. B. My mommy neglects her blog so horribly that even a cat can hack into it.
I’m writing this from the hell that is our Nevada house. My humans clearly bought this place so they’d have a way to torture me. Yesterday they captured me from my favorite hiding spot under Jerry’s desk, shoved me into that horrid carrier with the broken handle and took me on a six hour car trip. That’s right, SIX HOURS! I had to pee like a mo-fo when we got here. And to add insult to injury, they are making me use cheap ass cat litter from the 99 Cents store. It doesn’t clump and it stinks to high heaven. Jerry is responsible for this I’m sure.
Mommy did her best to fix my litter by putting a layer of Tidy Cat on top. She’s scared to death I’ll revenge poop outside the box. I have never in my life left my mommy a revenge poop but I’m considering it in light of this weekend. These people need to realize that I’m getting picky in my old age.
Mommy is also scared to death that I’ll keep her up all night when I’m up her. I’ve done it before but that was when I was still an outdoor cat. Just between you and me, I don’t mind being in the house all the time anymore and I don’t mind letting my humans sleep now and then. But Mommy still doesn’t trust me and tried to get me to take a kitty-xanax last night. She tried to hide it in my food (amateur) but I held strong until she finally broke out the last of the Japanese cat treat rations.
Japanese cat treats laced with kitty-xanax. MMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!
I have no idea what she’s going to do to get me to calm down tonight now that the Japanese cat treats are gone. I’ve been sleeping all day in this heat. As soon as they turn the lights out I’ll be bugging the shit out of those humans.
Meow for now!
I’ve been up all night with an insomniac cat. I know that Mrs. B has had plans to secretly kill me for some time now. I realize now that this, THIS is how she will do it. I will die of sleep deprivation.
This is one of the reasons why I do not like coming up here and when I do, it’s why I stress about bringing the cat with me. Because the weather was very hot yesterday we had to sleep in our one air conditioned room with the door closed. This did not sit well with Mrs. B at all. In addition to being stressed about being far from home (I hear you Mrs. B, believe me!) Mrs. B does not like closed doors and freaked out as soon as we turned the lights out and went to sleep. She crawled out from her spot from under the bed and began pacing around the room meowing and begging for me to get up.
I tried giving her some kitty xanax but that stuff did nothing. NOTHING! I eventually got up and hung out with her for a while, playing with her and brushing her and then just sat while we glared at each other. Every time I tried to curl up on the couch (a very small couch…the only piece of furniture we have in the living room) Mrs. B would freak out and start meowing.
She eventually let me sleep at 2am but woke me again at 4am.
It’s about 6pm now and what do you think? Mrs. B is passed out next to me on the couch. I should totally wake her ass up. Karma’s a bitch Mrs. B.
Blogging live from Jessopland 2.0, aka the Carson City house! Since my cat sitting and holding down the fort skills are more useful in the Bay Area than my Nevada remodel skills I don’t get up here that much. That said, I thought I’d give a try at doing a little writing up here to let folks know what these little trips are like for me.
We left home this morning at 7:00am on the dot. Since we are going to be up here for a few days we opted to bring Mrs. B with us. Her capture was pretty drama free thanks to Jerry’s help lifting the futon (Mrs. B’s favorite hiding spot) and an early morning dose of kitty xanax.
The drive through the mountains was very smoky thanks to the San Andreas fire. We also saw a lot of fire trucks.
We got to the house by noon. So far we’ve been to both Home Depots and the Lowes at least once each. We also made a trip to Pet Smart where we had a very interesting conversation about the new cat toy I bought for Mrs. B. Jerry thought a pink firefly was “too gay” so I had to remind him that a) it was for a cat and b) the cat is a girl.
While Mrs. B and I played with her new “gay” cat toy, Jerry fed his lizard friends. I like to call him the lizard whisperer.
Dinner was at our favorite all you can eat sushi bar at the Casino Fandango. I love the cilantro roll!
Now I’m hunkered down in the bedroom, enjoying the portable air conditioner Jerry bought and set up a few weeks ago. The rest of the house is 85 degrees so the bedroom is like the lunar module in Apollo 13 where the astronauts survived the ordeal until they returned safely back to earth. At the moment Mrs. B is hiding under the bed but as soon as she gets antsy she’s getting another dose of kitty xanax. In the meantime I’m enjoying my own medicine prescribed by Dr. Husband.