It’s me, Mrs. B. My mommy neglects her blog so horribly that even a cat can hack into it.

I’m writing this from the hell that is our Nevada house. My humans clearly bought this place so they’d have a way to torture me. Yesterday they captured me from my favorite hiding spot under Jerry’s desk, shoved me into that horrid carrier with the broken handle and took me on a six hour car trip. That’s right, SIX HOURS! I had to pee like a mo-fo when we got here. And to add insult to injury, they are making me use cheap ass cat litter from the 99 Cents store. It doesn’t clump and it stinks to high heaven. Jerry is responsible for this I’m sure.

Mommy did her best to fix my litter by putting a layer of Tidy Cat on top. She’s scared to death I’ll revenge poop outside the box. I have never in my life left my mommy a revenge poop but I’m considering it in light of this weekend. These people need to realize that I’m getting picky in my old age.

Mommy is also scared to death that I’ll keep her up all night when I’m up her. I’ve done it before but that was when I was still an outdoor cat. Just between you and me, I don’t mind being in the house all the time anymore and I don’t mind letting my humans sleep now and then. But Mommy still doesn’t trust me and tried to get me to take a kitty-xanax last night. She tried to hide it in my food (amateur) but I held strong until she finally broke out the last of the Japanese cat treat rations.

Japanese cat treats laced with kitty-xanax. MMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!

I have no idea what she’s going to do to get me to calm down tonight now that the Japanese cat treats are gone. I’ve been sleeping all day in this heat. As soon as they turn the lights out I’ll be bugging the shit out of those humans.

Meow for now!