Evil Hair Myth Revealed

I’ve been watching old episodes of Ally McBeal on Hulu Plus.  Remember that show?  It was great.  But it’s not the topic of this blog post.  No, the topic of this blog post is an evil hair myth which I’ve been hiding my entire life and a scene from Ally McBeal reminded me of it.  As a daughter of a hairdresser I feel it is my duty to get the truth out into the world about hair and I’m about to reveal one of the most evil of all myths about hair.

First the scene in Ally McBeal which has compelled me to get the truth out.  (And even if I was able to find it on YouTube I would be scared to share it due to copyright infringement paranoia.)  The scene took place in the Cage Fish Associates unisex bathroom wherein Portia DeRossi lets down her hair which was normally kept in a tight, neat bun which looked something like this: 

Portia de rossi bun

Out of the tight, neat bun flowed Portia DeRossi’s long golden platinum blond hair causing the jaws of Courtey Thorne Smith and Peter McNicol to drop.  And once again another exploitation of the world’s biggest myth about hair.  A myth which today will be revealed by the Lady Jessop: 

Releasing a tight bun does not result in flowing waves of beautiful hair. 

First off, wearing hair in a tight, neat bun requires a million bobby pins and a ton of hair spray.  In fact the longer and softer the hair the more bobby pin and hair spray is required.  Because long, beautiful, soft hair does not stay up in tight, neat buns.  To let hair down from a tight neat bun you need to do more than just pull a single hairpin from the back, like they do on TV.  And once you do remove all million of the hairpins the bun will start to unravel but because of all the hairspray you will look something like this:
bad-hair-day

The same thing goes for motorcycle helmets.  All those commercials where the mysterious black leathered motorcycle driver pulls up and then removes their helmet and viola! a beautiful woman with long flowing hair is discovered beneath?  Big fat lie!  Motorcycle helmets are hot as hell and they make your scalp all sweaty and once you finally get the thing off all that comes out is a flat dull mop. 

Got it?  Spread the word. 

4 thoughts on “Evil Hair Myth Revealed

  1. Chrisi

    I like to believe that once I finish my treadmill or eliptical workout at the gym and I take down my scrunchy bun that my hair flows like Portia’s! It is a one motion move. 🙂 It is one of the few times of day my long straight hair has any volume! Of course my face is so red from the workout that no one is looking at my scrunchy induced wavy flowing hair.

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  2. Holly

    Sorry Lady Jessop, I have to disagree with you on this one!

    You can have a perfect bun without millions of pins but you have to put it up when the hair is still wet. Also, the hair must be of certain length with minimal layering. People do react when long hair is taken out of a bun (I only use two hairties for my daily perfect buns) but probably the look of relief and ecstasy on the face of the unburdened woman is what people find most attractive ;P

    Hair is power and there are so many places to point to for proof: Samson and Delilah, how Keri Russell of “Felicity” fame became unfamous when she cut her hair, and the fact that t…here is an actual website called “thepowerofhair.com”.

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