In addition to having a policy of no regrets, I am also not one to hold a grudge.  Anymore.  There was a big  grudge I held on to for a long time and let me tell you, letting go felt great!  I highly recommend it. 

The grudge I had was against an ex-boyfriend.  Probably a common factor held by many “grudgees” but I’d say this guy really deserved it!  He did something that really pissed me off.  I won’t go into details but lets just say that California Penal Code 487 (Grand Theft) was involved.  Needless to say I broke up with the guy.  And for years after that I was angry as hell.  I spent the later half of my 20s devoted to this guy, thinking he was the love of my life, thinking we would get married, only to find out one day just months before I hit the big 3-0 that he had been doing illegal stuff for years right under my nose.  I wasted prime skinny years on this asshole and it pissed me off! 

I spent the next few years feeling completely miserable and the grudge I held for my ex-boyfriend was one of the main reasons why.  Eventually my anger subsided until it was nothing more than a tiny little bump.  But it was still there.  I could feel it. 

And then one day I had a revelation.  I remember the moment even.  It was a lovely Spring morning and I was driving to work over the San Mateo bridge.  I found myself thinking about the ex and the thought was “Gee, I hope he turned his life around and is in a happy relationship.”  I gasped out loud when I realized that the grudge was gone. “This must be what it feels like to really forgive someone.”  I thought.  It felt wonderful! 

And the best part was a few months later I met Jerry.