Now that we are well into the holiday season I can share the first of my Paralegal Chronicles which is technically a Christmas story. 

It happened at the firm’s holiday luncheon which was held every year at some fancy-assed San Francisco restaurant, always a different one because we got thrown out every year.  The thing that got us thrown out that year was a flaming drink, prepared by a bartender who thought it was okay to serve to a drunk lawyer who in turn thought it was okay to consume the drink before the flame burnt out. 

The shocked paralegal sitting next to the drunk lawyer, who hopes that 16 years is an acceptable amount of time to go by to finally come public with this story (considering the statute of limitations it probably is), still remembers the circle of blue flame around the drunk lawyer’s mouth.  Luckily there was a quick thinking associate close by who knew that fire was included in the short list of occasions when it’s appropriate to throw a glass of iced water in your boss’s face.

Five minutes later we were all standing outside the fancy-assed San Francisco restaurant deciding where to go next.  

Like all good Christmas stories, there is a goodwill-to-all-men and  gift-giving aspect to this one.  In the weeks leading up to the luncheon I had been fretting about getting a gift for the drunk lawyer as his was the name I had chosen for the Secret Santa giveaway.  Now all my problems were solved and a few days later on Christmas Eve he was presented with a fire hat from Toys R Us.