I’ve been watching old episodes of Ally McBeal on Hulu Plus.  Remember that show?  It was great.  But it’s not the topic of this blog post.  No, the topic of this blog post is an evil hair myth which I’ve been hiding my entire life and a scene from Ally McBeal reminded me of it.  As a daughter of a hairdresser I feel it is my duty to get the truth out into the world about hair and I’m about to reveal one of the most evil of all myths about hair.

First the scene in Ally McBeal which has compelled me to get the truth out.  (And even if I was able to find it on YouTube I would be scared to share it due to copyright infringement paranoia.)  The scene took place in the Cage Fish Associates unisex bathroom wherein Portia DeRossi lets down her hair which was normally kept in a tight, neat bun which looked something like this: 

Out of the tight, neat bun flowed Portia DeRossi’s long golden platinum blond hair causing the jaws of Courtey Thorne Smith and Peter McNicol to drop.  And once again another exploitation of the world’s biggest myth about hair.  A myth which today will be revealed by the Lady Jessop: 

Releasing a tight bun does not result in flowing waves of beautiful hair. 

First off, wearing hair in a tight, neat bun requires a million bobby pins and a ton of hair spray.  In fact the longer and softer the hair the more bobby pin and hair spray is required.  Because long, beautiful, soft hair does not stay up in tight, neat buns.  To let hair down from a tight neat bun you need to do more than just pull a single hairpin from the back, like they do on TV.  And once you do remove all million of the hairpins the bun will start to unravel but because of all the hairspray you will look something like this:

The same thing goes for motorcycle helmets.  All those commercials where the mysterious black leathered motorcycle driver pulls up and then removes their helmet and viola! a beautiful woman with long flowing hair is discovered beneath?  Big fat lie!  Motorcycle helmets are hot as hell and they make your scalp all sweaty and once you finally get the thing off all that comes out is a flat dull mop. 

Got it?  Spread the word.